one DAPSILOG please!!!

nakaupo sa isang sulok, walang ginagawa kase lumilipad ang isipan. magtatanong sa sarili kung baket ba ang salitang "OK" ang pambansang sagot na hindi mo mawawari ang tunay na emosyon. makailang beses ko na ring nagamit ang salitang to sayo, siguro dahil ayoko ng pahabain ang sasabihin ko, ayaw ko na ring magpaliwanag pa at siguro dahil ayoko na ng away...ok.

if love is enough, maybe hindi ako masasaktan ni hindi na rin ako mag eemote pa ng ganto, dahil sa pakiwari ko minahal mo naman talaga ako ng husto. pero dati un. maraming tanong, na sinubukang sagutin pero kinapos sa oras. maraming bagay ang gustong sabihin pero natatakot magsalita.

gusto kong isipin na hindi naman talga naging masama ang lahat. i wanna see the positive side out of this, that maybe all things need time. time to recognize, time to heal and a time to appreciate. makailang beses ko ring iiwasan pansamantala ang mga madadramang kantang pakiwari ko'y nang aasar saken, kase maaalala ko lang ang malulungkot na bagay.

gustuhin ko mang tumikim ng kape, pero alam kong mapapaitan ako sa bawat paghigop dahil alam kong paborito mo to. gustuhin ko mang manood ng basketball pero nakikita ko ang libangang kinahihiligan mo. ang boses mong nakakatawang pakinggan parang ang hirap kalimutan. sana paminsan minsan maalala mo naman ako, cuz someone like u is not easily forgotten. i wish i cud hold and keep u forever. i just want u to know that i still love u.

just before we part ways, please keep my pic as a simple remembrance.

Disclaimer: this is not my natural mood, whatever is written here, this is just a phase of so called fucked up life. isa etong engkwentro sa mga walang kakwenta-kwentang tao na ewan ko kung baket nandito sa mundo...read on....

first of all, greetings to u son-of-a-bitch! para sayo na mahilig manamantala ng kabaitan ng ibang tao, ang kapal ng mukha mo. nakakahiya nga lang dahil ure paid para manggulo sa iba habang ikaw nagpapalake ng tyan dyan sa pwesto mo. the nerve! 2nd thing, alam nateng u dont deserve the position, and im telling u this up to the bottom of ur ass. there are lots of ppl who should be in ur chair, pero inagaw ng politikong tulad mo. i just wonder baket buhay ka pa. nagtataka din ako kung baket natotolerate ka, kunsabagay mana mana yan eh. kung sino ang puno mo, tulad mo din...and definitely hinde ko sya trip maging puno. for u fat ass dumber who have been keeping this workplace a burning hell, get outta here!!! wala akong pakelam if you are reading this. when i came here, im paid of what im expected to do, and im returning it. eh ikaw ano na ba ang accomplishments mo? ay oo mahirap talagang magbilang ng wala. ano ba ang pinaggagawa nyo sa maghapon? maupo, matulog, magkwentong barbero and lastly magpasa ng mga trabaho sa iba na kasalukuyang meron ding pinagkakaabalahan, at malas namen dahil kame un. perfect. ure a perfect asshole. ang lakas mong magpowertrip komo u have the power to impose insubordination policy. dont wait till the bitches inside us eh lumabas at makita mo. dont wait till may masabe pa kameng di mabuti before u can truly understand the true meaning of power. tigilan mo na ang pagpapahirap sa mga tao sa paligid mo kase it does not make u a god in our eyes. para kang tae na madaling tapakan, pero di magawa sa sobrang pandidiring patulan ka.

kung idedefine ko ang pagiging leader:

1. One who is in charge or in command of others. <-- palagay ko ang motto mo is give command to others.

2. One who has influence or power <-- ohh yeah such a bad influence.

3. One who guides or inspires others <-- we despise you.

however, i learned from my dad not to go to the level of the dimwits, cuz ill just be wasting my "auto-in" time. ang saken lang is, i cant believe that in this world ill be able to meet some lunkhead like u, what scares me more is unti unting dumadami ang mga katulad mo. (OT, si kupaloids is a friend of this one) putangina naman, para kayong gremlins na pakalat kalat kayo sa daanan. if theres one wish to ask, sana magkaroon ka ng total overhaul, tipong from being responsible up to the level of ur intelligence, sana tuluyan kang magbago kasama na rin ung mga alagad mo. but i can only wish, cuz magic is not true.

*** respect is definitely given to those who are deserving of it. and ure not one of those. overall, konting panahon na lang ang pagtitiis na to. and im hoping not to see ur face again, ever.

just got 2 hours of sleep, with a bad dream and thought we will have a bad weather knowing that we have the company party. today we will be goin to 8waves, though im not really excited about sa paliligo dahil may tubig naman sa bahay ehehe. i didnt prepare any, i shouldn't...cuz from the very start im not interested to join this outing, ohh yeah napipilitan lang siguro ako or takot magka salary deduction haha.

i changed my mind when we arrived there and spotted the arcade section wherein we will have the free rides, thought only 3 games but the marshall said we can always come back if we want to. hehe so para saan pa ung stub na for 3 games? hehe labo. so un nga, the usual we tried daytona, tekken and basketball...sesh and i enjoyed it khit mahaba ang pila cuz the gamestations are not that many. outside a program hosted by gizelle sanchez and hans montenegro is there, were not too sure how many are watching, kase naman nakakatamad tipong the old school. but what the heck said the company, "we paid for them." alright so there are bands, performances, and the best part? well just the pump-up performance of kamikazee!!! though i heard their songs, but not really a fan of them cuz para silang mga sabog na loko, but after the cool songs and mga nakakatuwang hirit ni jay(vocals), eh feeling ko love ko na sila. haha, guess its the best band performance ive seen. (opps i knw its early to say but i gotta watch bamboo's show first hehe).

i have to encircle the image though i know di nyo pa rin sya makikilala on this angle. curse my camera for not working cuz it sucked the battery that much arghhh! but still, iba ka jay, ure one of the hell cool performers that could make the audience feel as if were in heaven. and his moves? kembot dito, kembot dun haha ang landi nya dun sa camera man, he even took off his shirt on the last part. syempre di rin maalis ung song na "narda," as the crowd enjoyed it so much. 

kung di nyo kilala si jay of kamikazee, yan sya pag malapitan. picture gotten from bitterbliss.blogspot.com.

after that performance we had this tripping of go dancing on the floor, maybe we need to do it para naman mawala ang pagkainis namen sa pagtitipid ng fud samen hehe. so yep we go dancing, nagkakahiyaan pero bigay todo. tinataas ang kamay at obvious namang nag eenjoy on our own. we tried henna, foot or hand spa, kaso daig pa ang lotto outlet dahil di nauubusan ng pila. when we came back, tapos na. now that sucks.

overall, i wish the party is a little better. tipong they do not need to go out of town for good picnic party. they cud simply invite popular bands, with good food and boozing for those who like it. the expenses is not always equal to the satisfaction.

NBA results: alright so finally its the Heat who won over the Mavs, almost like a sweeping victory for them. i imagine how happy gary payton is for finally getting a championship win just before ending his contract with the Heat, hehe. thats actually whats good about NBA, the result is seemingly unpredictable. congratz to Heat!

PBA results: were going local right now. so with the semis, its alaska-purefoods and the other team san miguel-red bull. my folks know that im an alaska fan so ive been watching the semis and hoping that they will be on finals. its been 2-0 lead for alaska, whew im reminded of the mavs-heat series hehehe. well hopefully the defense and the transition baskets will work for alaska. as what they have done guarding the gunners of purefoods, im sure they could still do the same intensity for the next games.

Australia's top model: ive been following up the series one of this reality show hosted by erika heynatz. its gemma sanderson who finally took the first top model crown. lot of intrigues, challenges they have encountered just to get that top spot. last time i saw is that zoe has been out of the team, whom i thought got a better chance of winning. sam is also a competitive and dedicated challenger but came short reaching the finals. its like a win from behind what gemma did on this show. she may not be that aggressive but she sure prove to everyone that she's the perfect next Australia's top model. god i love their accent!!!

Gamezone: alrighty, i was asked by my colleague to try this simulation online monster game. its about vampires vs werewolves, almost same concept with the mafiosos. you were given golds, to train ur playah, to raid other clans, to buy items, increase your levels so u could buy ur hound and to work in the graveyard for u to earn golds. i wonder how this simulation game started.

Pressure: im in the middle of the biggest pressure i could ever be. here comes the same situation last year wherein we are asked to make a decision, a huge decision. i dont wanna be tied up again to another choice because im drawn to that, but rather choosing it cuz i love to. but i guess wala na atang ganun. so eto eol na naman kame, im thinking if i shud stay once more or not. im also thinking that if i stay, what challenges will i face, aside from the new faces ill meet again. if ill go, what will i do sa bahay, i might bored myself to death. im pressured to choose. felt like im running out of time. time for what? that i dont know. but i guess whatever im into, i know where to place myself, im just hoping that things will turn out right.

Personal: what can i say? well mahirap talaga to make drastic moves, then soon we feel sorry for it. i dont wanna hear ur voice cuz it makes me weak. i dont wanna remember things that u do cuz it makes me sadder. i dont wanna hear things about u cuz its driving me crazy. but no matter what i do, no matter how many denials i make, ure still around. para kang aninong sunod ng sunod, na minsan meron pero nawawala. argghh i wanna go nuts!

saturday, my friends and i went out on lunch in burgoo, gateway mall. i just had pasta and a chocolate milkshake, but im full though. the place is cool, kaya pumuwesto kame near the window area. i might say that ive overcome my fear in heights kase i was sitting near the window pane. hehe i remember tuloy the days when i worked previously on another company, damn im so afraid malapit dun sa window. thank goodness those days are gone, heheh.

henewei, like what we normally do, we do some catching up. though we dont really miss each other kase nakikibalita pa rin kame with one another. probably we created a good reason to go out, para alam mo un, kumaen lang sa labas. whats interesting about burgoo is that they have this paper mat and even use colors to put the name of the server. so what we do? well we messed it up haha. actually tin drew images, sol wrote down the minutes of the chitchat. us? well were normal ppl so we dont do vandalism hehe loko lang.

alright, lets talk about the nba 2006 finals series, yep ive been watching this cuz i thought it was predicted that dallas will some what sweep the series. my bad for saying it early, and now the standing has been reverted. heat leads the series 3-2 and that is because of the "swapang" shots of dwayne wade. ok, i said swapang cuz it has been him who's been carrying out the ball up to the basket. parang nakita ko ung kobe bryant in the making. uh-oh im not a fan of kobe hehhe. so what can i say? well its a good series, you can never tell who's really in charge, on game 5 every shot is spectacular, as u can imagine that is how close the game is. ang ending won by a point ang heat care of the free throws made by wade. (who else?)

on the contrary, thanks to dallas for giving a good game to heat. without nowitzki's (pronounced as no-vits-ki) leadership, hindi nila mapapakaba ang heat. it was anybody's ballgame. i love to see game 6, i smell revenge on the part of dallas. once terry, nowitzki and howard tandem strikes back, heat will be in big trouble.

for 3 consecutive days ive been waking up so early than the usual time i should be. dammit, just get 3-4 hours of sleep and staying outside for over 12 hours, what more can i expect? i got no one or nothing to blame, its just that lately ive been bothered with a pain in my tummy. but all things are good now...i hope. my body is tired and finally it was only today that i get my sleep back into order.

so for the past days, ive been watching deal or no deal show of kris aquino (who else?) in abs-cbn. its actually the same show uve probably watched hosted by howie mandel, where there are 26 cases amounting from P1 to 2 million pesos. (wow ang lake diba).

for people who would be interested to just get some pennies, pwede na to. u dont need to be brainy to play this game, u just need right timing. its purpose is to simply give money in a prolonged manner, not much of a substance here. para kang pumupusta sa kung magkano ang laman ng case na nakuha mo. plus ure praying that for every case u choose, u dont get the highest amount else babaratin ka ni banker. yeah right, the banker na who's located sa top part nung stage, will call kris to give the amount. funny concept huh.

sometimes im thinking, 30 minutes is too much for this type of game, if the show is this simple, then why dont they just throw the money to the air and give it to us?

sesh, blissy and i had breakfast at starbucks. it was good of blissy to treat us ng walang okasyon. huwaw, iba talaga pag big time na. diko na mareach. hehe we had some chitchat, ultimo jokes ng forwarded email eh napag-usapan, pati na rin si jun na bagong love interest ni sesh hehe.

have u ever thought when you are going to have a drive-by-wire car? u dont have to dream on that, here's the latest technology that SKF realizes when they created the Filo car.

the drive-by-wire technology engineered by SKF enabled a radical re-evaluation of the man-machine interface and the architectural of a car's interior. they created a living space inside a car, removing the traditional constraints imposed on position and freedom of movement of feet while driving - what a whole new experience. dito daw pwede ka ng magpaprenti umupo or cross legs na parang nagbabasa lang ng dyaryo. all the controls kase like break, clutch and even the accelerator is nakalagay na mismo sa manibela ng filo car na to.

hi-tech diba? gone are the days of diesels and ala na rin ang pagpapahirap pa sa pagkabig sa manibela sa sobrang kurbada ng daan. freed us from the bulky and potentially dangerous presence of the steering column, the designers have been able to consider a dashboard free of obstructions and constraints, a large free surface, simple, clean, relaxing.  

first thing comes in my mind is how much this would cost? hehe as if naman may pambili ako. pero di nga, what an innovation. minsan di na ako magtataka kung makaimbento sila ng mga sasakyang aandar kahit natutulog ka on the way. ;)

weekends, ive watched 2 korean movies, yep i know this is something new to me. hehe blame it to my sister whos hooked in borrowing this type of movies. i just find it interesting that korean movies fall to comedy type of movie up to the saddest stories. as usual, i like the fun type, so we watched My Little Bride that is about the typical arranged marriage of Boeun (Moon Geun-yeong), an ordinary 15-year old high school girl who has a crush on a baseball player at school(Park Jin-woo), and Sangmin (Kim Rae-won), who grew up with Boeun and is now in college, always make fun of Boeun and treats her like a little sister.

the story revolves around the life of a young couple who always fight and get into their throats upon confrontations.

its entertaining to watch cuz sangmin is the typical playful type of hubby who thought he could control his young wife, but its the other way around. some display of jealousy is included in this movie, plus funny characters were added to add spice in the movie. in the end, both of them realizes that they are falling for each other and that being married with one another is something to be proud of.

the title of this entry does not suggest a counterpart show of GMA-7's "Unang Hirit," im talking about the last text that i received from someone that irritated me a bit...for whatever reason.

nakakatawa lang kase na after sometime na di pagpaparamdam eh biglang hihirit na mag asawa na nga daw ako, sabay tawa. huwattt?? at sino ka naman para utusan ako? kung ang parents ko nga di ako pini-pressure na mag asawa, kesehodang kung ano gawin ko sa buhay, they didnt bother na pangunahan ako. alam nyo un???

im not against being married, nor even the thought of it. actually im considering it, given the chance to be with the right person, guess at the right time too. pero hello?! sa kung anong kadahilanan, sumaket ang ulo ko sa punchline nya, ang siste kase as if he is insenuating something. sasabayan pa nya ng "hehehe" in which if im going to go down to its detail, his advice is not sincere na tipong "nakakaloko." ah ewan ko sayo. ayoko mang isipin, but i think there is an underlying meaning why in the first place segue sya sa topic na un, maybe he wants me to notice him, maybe meron syang ex na natuklasan nyang magpapakasal na and he's damn bitter about it or maybe he thinks marriage is a mere joke.

minsan nya na kaseng nasabe saken ang bagay na to, and i just throw the same question "baket kaw ba may asawa na?" and sabe nya "wala."  so i go, "then why do u want me to get married if u cannot follow ur own advice??" darn.

the bottomline is, yes our friends and relatives will be married soon. una-unahan lang, lucky for those who will, we can be happy for them truly. but to joke around marriage na supposed to be a sacred thing for whatever nonsensical reason, thats just not right. (un yun eh)

for guys, ke may bf or wala ang isang babae, most of us wanted to make our love interests privately. please dont be that nosy na tipong sa dami dami ng pwedeng iopen up na topic sa mundo, eh lageng lovelife/marriage ang paborito nyong itanong. come one be smart and real. that lineage of question will only be accepted if natanong nyo na lahat ng tanong sa mundo, and mathematically that is 0.00000000000000000000000000000000000000001 chances.

eto ang mga madalas na intrigahin/tanungin ng ibang mga chismosong lalake:

- may bf ka na ba? baket wala pa? nakailang bf ka na?

- virgin ka pa ba?

* my ears are numb to hear these...

i was waiting for a cab, ill be on my way to the mall when a private vehicle stopped and the guy offered a free ride. he is headed to the gym which is proximate to the place im goin to. for whatever reason, im not hesitant nor afraid of him. inspite the news that we commonly hear about kidnapping, rape, murder, prostitution...ok, my imagination is running again...but alright i said yes, who does not want a free ride anyways? hehe.

while on the road, we had a little chit chat about stuff, asking bout my work, talking about his interests, family status and experiences. if i remembered it right, he mentioned that he is around 40 years of age. he seems interesting and it felt good having that conversation with someone i barely know. with these times, i cud have ignored the offer nor just let him passed...but i didnt, and maybe it happened for a very good reason. we even talk about politics, filipino culture, travelling abroad and discussed about technologies. as to my pundit, how can a 30 minute ride be so fruitful with a total stranger? ohh well, sometimes its good to express what we truly think about something to someone who doesnt know us, someone who wont judge us at least. someone who has good intentions...for that matter. sometimes we meet people unexpectedly as to how we meet these people randomly. glad he's one of the good eggs with yolks still intact inside.

its a bit odd to feel surprised that there are still few men who can truly respect women nowadays without any arcane intentions. so he dropped me off to the station, though he travelled extra miles just to get me in there..& for the parting words??? i said "thanks for the ride," he said "keep what u have, u still got a long road to go"

now, that made me think. gets ko pero parang hinde. i know eventually i will.