one DAPSILOG please!!!

they say that people at my age must be settled in life, because society tells us that a complete person is someone who is married and had kids at a certain age. for those who are at late 20s and still single, will most likely feel the annoying mockery of this so called "family orientation" --- where mothers begin to worry if their daughters would ever gonna give them grandchildren, where people will blame your career for being comfortable on it and forgetting the idea of marriage and of course your friends and relatives would push u with someone u barely know so u can get to "the last trip"

this is the painful reality, no matter what generation you belong, im sure uve heard any of these. life becomes harder when we put things in one box, one direction of life, as if marriage is pre-conditioned...as if marriage is a moral obligation of all human beings...as if you are "cursed" if you wont get married. sad to say, there are a lot of people who choose to go to this thought without realizing the stress they are causing to other people. for the most part, they are the ones who are closest to you.

u ask me why until now i have not said my vows to anyone..it is because id like to marry for the right reasons. unlike the mediocres, i dont consider age, (i dont like numbers) i dont believe in "culture tagging" or "society hagging" --- if the right time comes that ill decide to settle down, it is because i found the right person that i promise to love and stay with for the rest of my life.

maybe ure in this kind of situation, but believe me, it wouldnt hurt u, if u set aside other people's notion about marriage, cuz u might end up being unhappy and feel sorry about the idea of it. dont be a slave of this customary wedding thoughts, because it is u that will give a complete definition of marriage.

I've been watching this new series, Castle, its about a famous mystery novelist Richard Castle(Nathan Fillion) whose career is at its peak, got involved in resolving a murder,  wherein the killings follow the way he kills the characters...thats how he met detective Kate Beckett (Stana Katic) an NYPD police officer who's been trailing the traces of the crime scenes. Unlike any typical serious crime series, what I like about it is they injected humor on it, how the writer turns out to be an investigative unit, and of course the romantic tension between the two main characters. I also like the soundtrack or choice of music, its relaxing I would say. Castle being tough guy, shows fatherhood to his teenager daughter Alexis (Molly Quinn) and thats the soft spot of the series.

I am now to its 7th episode on Season 1. series marathon to kumbaga, cuz i have a lot of time hehhe. i hope to get the 2nd season of it which i believed started May 2009.

Its just a small thing kaya ayoko ng palakihin pa, but I cannot help but think why he is doing those things for me. Nagdedecide sya on his own na para bang ganun nya ako kakilala or ganun sya kakomportable saken. Sometimes gusto ko na lang sabihin na itigil nya ang lahat ng yun, because we are not in a relationship. Its a decision I made and I know he knows it, but maybe he is blindly doing things...i dont know.

When people are  close to each other, like friends or officemates, we tend to go out to that thin line called "boundary." may mga bagay syang ginagwa that makes me feel uncomfortable na rin because naeexcede na ung normal actions for a regular friendship. him being demonstrative...how he makes me his top priority when we are approaching him, at kung paanong nakakapag decide sya for us, without even consulting me. maybe the latter triggers why im writing these things now. as ive mentioned, no harm done and its a petty stuff lang naman, but as what they say, in the end, these small stuff will pile up and could create bigger problems in the future. sometimes i would like him to act like a normal barkada, not overly concern about me or anything related to me. pakiramdam ko kase na pagdating saken at work, masyado na syang protective. that even if i say that he does need to do it, he will insist that he wants it to --- and this statement somehow pisses me off, most specially pag dumadating na sa point na he is not leaving me any choice, but to just agree with his actions. i remember a time before na hinde nya ako maihahatid sa bahay since out of his way, that he even pay for the gas dun sa isang kaofficemate ko na taga Rizal din, on the condition na ihahatid ako mismo sa Antipolo. i wasnt aware of that not until sinabe saken nung 2nd guy. some would find it "sweet" and they will find me antagonistic about it, pero i refuse magpahatid sa bahay and magpababa na lang sa pinagusapang lugar para hinde ako makaistorbo dun sa 2nd guy na magrereview pa that night. i didnt expect him to do that, at lageng ganun ang nangyayari, he wouldnt care kung ano mang pakisuyo ang iaask nya just to make sure that ill be home safe. besides, commuting is my everyday life, id like to do things on my own, just because kaya kong gawin un without the help of anybody. i find this excessive. its normal to care for someone, but to the point na merong maiistorbong iba masunod lang ang gusto, thats why im reacting.

maybe im not clear to him that when i say that we remain friends or maybe he is just hard-headed, doing things on his own khit pa alam nya kung ano ang kinatatayuan nya. well maybe because im the object of the predicate, it is also possible that im seeing it wrongly. pwedeng talagang ganun ang persona nya kapag naattached sya with someone. however with almost 2 years of working with him, i know that this is not the case and may mga tanong na rin ako sa kanya which he opted not to answer.

i am speculating all these things because in the end, id like to keep his friendship without losing him. i dont wanna give him false hopes. i personally believe that a boy and girl friendship does not always equate to romantic relationship. its a decision to make, agreed by both ends if they wish to go to that level. and i know that i am not going to that level....

maybe there are a lot of things to know about why they are persistent, how they behave or how men interpret us. i just wish sometimes that i could be very frank and tell things straight to his face...but i dont wanna rub it. i have told him about this in a lot of different ways...now im running out of creative inputs. iniisip ko na lang that this will be straightened out, the moment i left the company so he can spend more of his time with his job and meeting new people. i understand his past, where he is coming from, but i dont want to trade the only thing i can offer to him, and thats friendship. no more, no less.

last month, team and I went to Banio Kreek in Laguna for our regular teambuilding. its only now that i get to post these nice pieces of art, from nature. these are indeed God's gifts to us.

corn like conifers for me

one flower in three different colors...that's wow.

what a relief for us that my brother finally recovered from dengue. for the first time, i feared for his life, dahil umabot sa 40+ na lang ung platelets nya, which should be 200. i even asked my mom, so what happen if it reaches zero, and she answered fearfully.."eh di patay" --- bigla kong naisip na baket uso ang salitang "patay." recently, as everybody is aware, former president cory aquino pass away. at tulad ng dati na ang tao ay pinupuri ng husto kapag sya ay nasa kabaong na. nagbalik tanaw din sa mga mahahalagang pangyayari nung EDSA 1, kung saan wala pa akong muwang nun. pinalabas din kung paanong ang bawat pilipino kahit marami ang pagkakaiba, pinagsasama sama pa rin tayo kapag demokrasya na ang pinag uusapan. ganun kadami ang taong nakidalamhati ng mamatay si ninoy. ganun din kadami ang nalungkot ng mamatay si cory kamakailan lang. tingen ko nga umiral ang pagiging makabayan naten --- ang mga musika nung EDSA1 ay binabalik, ang mga video footages, ang mga taong naging malakeng bahagi nito. siguro ganun lang talaga kapag mabuting tao ang namamatay, marami ang nalulungkot at nakikiramay sa mga naulila ni cory. minsan nga iniisip ko na kung ang bawat tao ba ay may kamulatan sa kung ano ba talaga ang demokrasyang pinaglaban nila noon? meron pa bang demokrasya tayo ngayon? si noynoy kaya mananalo kapag tumakbong pagka bise presidente? si kris kaya tatalikod sa showbiz at magpupulitika na rin? pano nila pinaliwanag ke Josh or sa mga taong may authesim, ang salitang "death?" meron pa bang susunod sa yapak ni cory? sabagay, isa si cory na masasabeng bahagi ng philippine history na wala akong makitang bahid na karumihan at sana dumami pa ang mga pulitikong ganun.

naisip ko rin na dito sa pinas, ang serbisyong pagpapagamot ay isang magandang negosyo. kung ako ay may pribadong hospital at bawat tao ay sisingilin ko ng P6,000 kada araw, tiba tiba ako nun. wala na rin akong magiging pakelam kung san nila kukunin ang pambayad sa hospital, dahil negosyo ko nga iyon eh. at magrerekomenda rin ako ng kung ano anong "tests" para mas marami silang bayaran. at sa sobrang sikat ko bilang negosyante, papangalawa na ako sa paglo-Lotto, para sa pinakamabilis na revenue generating industry, instant sikat ako --- pero syempre ang lahat ng ito ay kathang isip lang, dahil wala akong pribadong hospital, at dahil hinde ako kaseng ganid ng ibang mga pilipino.

pero ang bottomline sa usapang ito, thanks to the Supreme Being, dahil sa kanya ligtas ang utol ko. :D

X'S: nakakatuwang paglaruan ang Pixton bukod sa cool na tool to para sa mga taong frustrated gumawa ng comics tulad ko, maraming klaseng customization ang pwedeng gawin dito. meron ding pre-made characters or items for quick comic creation. ngayon pa lang ang dami kong naiisip na kakulitan ang pwede kong gawin out of this :D